Change Passwords After Divorce or a Breakup: A Checklist

To change passwords after divorce or a breakup, start on a device your ex can't access. Then secure the accounts that can reset everything else: your email, your phone number, and your Apple or Google account. After that, move on to money, shared accounts, location sharing, and smart-home devices. Doing it in this order keeps you from getting locked out or tipping off your ex too early.

Start with your email and phone number

Nearly every "forgot password" link goes to your email or your phone. Whoever controls those two can get into almost everything else, so secure them first:

• Your main email. Use a new password, not a twist on an old one, since your ex likely knows your habits. Four or five random words make a strong phrase that's easy to remember.
• Your phone carrier account. Change the password and add an account PIN. The PIN makes it harder for anyone to move your number to a new SIM card. If you're on your ex's family plan, they can likely see who you call and text, so ask the carrier about moving your number to your own account.

Then close the back doors:

• Recovery options. Remove your ex's phone number or email if either is listed as a backup.
• Security questions. Your ex probably knows your first pet's name. Switch to made-up answers and save them with your passwords.
• Forwarding, filters, and devices. Delete email rules that forward your mail or hide security alerts. Then sign out of every device that isn't yours.

If you think your ex has been reading your email, also work through what to do if your email is hacked.

The right order to change passwords after divorce

Most lockouts are self-inflicted, like getting rid of an email address that was the backup for ten other accounts. Work in this order, and update your recovery details before you give up any old email address or phone number:

1. Your devices. Use one your ex has never had access to, or change your passcode. Delete any fingerprint they added. If they set up an alternate appearance in Face ID, reset Face ID.
2. Email. New password, plus recovery options that lead only to you.
3. Phone carrier. New password and an account PIN.
4. Apple Account (formerly Apple ID) or Google account. It holds your photos, backups, and often your saved passwords. Change the password, then remove any device that isn't yours.
5. Password manager. If your ex ever knew its master password, change it now. That way the dozens of passwords you create next land somewhere they can't open.
6. Money. Banks, credit cards, and payment apps like PayPal or Venmo.
7. Location and home. Location sharing, smart-home apps, your car's app, and Wi-Fi.
8. Everything else. Shopping, streaming, social media, and subscriptions.

At each step, turn on two-step verification. It asks for a second proof that it's you when you sign in. Codes from an authenticator app are safer than codes sent by text, and a passkey, which signs you in with your face, fingerprint, or screen lock, is stronger still.

Save each new password as you go. If you reused a password your ex knows, change it everywhere. Most password managers can list your reused passwords for you.

Separate shared accounts: split, transfer, or close

For each shared account, decide who keeps it:

• Split. You each open your own account from now on.
• Transfer. One of you keeps it, and the other is removed.
• Close. Shut it down once money and records are sorted out.

Changing your own passwords is fine. Signing in to your ex's accounts is not, even if you know the password. It can be illegal and can hurt your case.

Your ex may also still be listed as your emergency contact, your Apple Legacy Contact, or a trusted contact in Google's Inactive Account Manager. Update those too.

Banking, insurance, and utilities

You usually can't remove a co-owner from a joint bank account on your own. Call the bank and ask about your options, such as opening an account in your own name. Talk to your attorney before you move any shared money.

• Credit cards. Remove your ex as an authorized user. Getting a new card number also stops charges from apps where they saved your card.
• Insurance, loans, and utilities. Update logins and contact details. Ask your attorney before changing beneficiaries, since some states restrict that during a divorce.
• Credit reports. Your ex likely knows your Social Security number. Get your free credit reports at AnnualCreditReport.com and consider a credit freeze, which is free and blocks most new credit in your name. If you find an account you didn't open, report it at the FTC's IdentityTheft.gov.

Streaming, shopping, and subscriptions

Most of these let you see where you're signed in. For each account:

1. Change the password.
2. Sign out of all devices.
3. Remove your ex's profile and any payment card that isn't yours.
4. Only then add your new address, since order history shows where packages go.

If an account is in your ex's name, sign out of it on your devices and start your own. Some services show roughly where each device streams from.

Location sharing, smart-home apps, and connected devices

A new password won't stop your ex from seeing where you are if location sharing is still on. Check these:

• Phone location sharing. On iPhone, stop sharing with your ex in Find My. You can also open Safety Check (Settings, then Privacy & Security) to review everything you share in one place. On Android, check location sharing in Google Maps. Apps like Life360 and Snap Map have their own sharing lists, so check those too.
• Family groups. Leave any Apple Family Sharing or Google family group your ex runs, or remove them from yours. These groups can share purchases, storage, and sometimes location.
• Cars. Many car apps show where the car is. If your ex set up the app, ask the carmaker how to move the car to your account.
• Smart-home devices. Cameras, doorbells, smart locks, and speakers often run through one account. Change that password and remove your ex. If the account is theirs, reset the devices and set them up under your own account, then change your Wi-Fi password and door codes.
• Photos and files. iCloud Shared Photo Library, Google Photos partner sharing, and shared folders can keep showing your ex your new photos and files.

A hidden tracker can also give away your location. iPhones and Android phones can warn you when an unknown tracker is traveling with you, so take those alerts seriously.

Removing an ex from a shared password vault

Removing your ex from a shared vault should change the lock, not just delete a name.

In Pinzen, each family vault has its own encryption key, the secret that locks and unlocks what's inside. Removing a member rotates that key: the app makes a new key and re-encrypts the shared items with it, so the old key can't open them anymore. Our security page explains more.

One honest limit applies to every password manager: removing someone doesn't erase what they already saw or copied. So work through it in this order:

1. Remove your ex if you're the organizer. If they run the vault, copy what you need into your own private vault.
2. Change the passwords that matter, starting with email and banking.
3. Remove old passkeys, especially any on a device your ex can unlock.
4. Guard your recovery files. In Pinzen, the Recovery Kit is a complete spare key. If a copy is in a shared folder or a drawer your ex can reach, get rid of it and download a fresh one from a trusted device. If you turn on extra-secure recovery, the Kit alone can't reset your master phrase.

If you're starting over, you can create a free vault on your own device. Creating family vaults takes Pinzen+, and the people you invite can join for free. If you co-parent, a small shared vault with only the kids' logins keeps everything else private.

See our guides to sharing passwords with family and sharing passwords with a spouse for what to keep private.

If you are worried about your safety

If your ex has been controlling, threatening, or watching you, suddenly locking them out can show them you're leaving. That can make things more dangerous.

• Use a safer device. If your phone or computer may be monitored, plan from a library computer or a trusted friend's phone.
• Think about timing. Your ex may notice when location sharing stops or a password changes. Some people wait until they have a safety plan in place.
• Hidden apps. Spying apps can be hidden on a phone. Removing one may alert whoever installed it, so talk to an advocate first.
• Kids' devices. A child's phone or tablet may share its location with the other parent, which can reveal where you live. Ask an advocate or your attorney how to handle that.
• Your phone line. In the US, a law called the Safe Connections Act lets survivors of domestic abuse ask their carrier to move their number off a shared plan, even without the account holder's consent.
• Expert help. In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers free, confidential support at 1-800-799-7233, including help making a safety plan. If you're in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number.

You don't have to do this alone, or all in one day.

Your one-page digital separation checklist

Work from the top:

1. Change your device passcode and remove your ex's fingerprint or face.
2. Change your email password and turn on two-step verification.
3. Clean up recovery options, security questions, and forwarding rules.
4. Change your carrier password and add an account PIN.
5. Secure your Apple or Google account.
6. Secure your password manager and remove your ex from shared vaults.
7. Change banking and payment logins.
8. Stop location sharing and leave shared family groups.
9. Change smart-home, car, and Wi-Fi passwords, plus door codes.
10. Update streaming, shopping, and subscription accounts.
11. Change any other password your ex knew or could guess.
12. Update emergency and legacy contacts.
13. Check your credit reports.

Frequently asked questions

What passwords should I change after a breakup?

Start with your email, phone carrier, and Apple or Google account, because they can reset everything else. Next, do your password manager, banking, and payment apps. Then update your smart-home, car, Wi-Fi, streaming, and shopping logins. Also change any password your ex knew or could guess.

Should I change my passwords before or after I move out?

If you feel safe, change the important ones before you move out. The risk is highest while your ex still knows your logins and can reach your devices. If you're worried about how they'll react, make a safety plan first and use a device they can't get into.

How do I remove my ex from my streaming accounts?

Change the password first. Then use the option to sign out of all devices, so your ex can't just sign back in. Delete their profile and remove any payment card that isn't yours. If the account is in your ex's name, it's usually simpler to start your own.

Can my ex still see my location after we split?

Yes, if any location sharing is still on. Check Find My on iPhone, location sharing in Google Maps, family groups, Life360, Snap Map, and your car's app, and remove your ex from each one. Watch for alerts about unknown trackers. If you're worried they'll notice the change, plan your timing first.